The short version
Becoming a pen pal through Jeff's Second Family takes about 90 seconds to register, costs nothing, and asks for roughly an hour of your time every few weeks. You'll be matched with one incarcerated person, write to them through a monitored platform or PO box, and the ministry will guide you every step of the way.
The longer version — the part that helps you decide if it's actually right for you — is what the rest of this page is for.
Why people do this
Most of our volunteers don't come to this looking to "fix" anyone. They come because somewhere along the way — through a sermon, a documentary, a friend who got out of prison, a verse that wouldn't leave them alone — they realized that being forgotten is one of the heaviest burdens a person can carry. And they wanted to do something simple about it.
Writing a letter is small. That's part of why it works. Most people behind bars don't need a savior; they need someone to remember they exist. A name on the envelope. Mail call where their name gets called. Someone who asked how they're doing and meant it.
What it actually costs
Registering with the ministry is free. The ministry charges nothing, ever.
Beyond that, your costs depend on how the person you're matched with prefers to communicate:
- Securus / TextBehind / GettingOut / ConnectNetwork messaging: Usually a few cents per message, sometimes free for the first few. You set up an account on those platforms separately.
- Traditional mail: The cost of a stamp and an envelope. About 75 cents per letter at current rates.
- CORRLINKS (federal email): Free for the volunteer; the inmate pays a small fee.
The ministry will tell you which platform applies before you write your first letter, and we have step-by-step guides for each one inside your dashboard.
How much time it takes
Most volunteers write one letter every two to four weeks. A letter takes 30 to 60 minutes to write thoughtfully — longer if you're including a card or a printed photo, shorter once you've gotten into the rhythm.
There's no minimum required by the ministry. We ask that you commit to at least three letters before deciding whether to continue, because correspondences rarely find their footing in the first one. After that, the pace is yours.
One thoughtful letter every month means more to your pen pal than four rushed letters in a week. Don't try to write daily. Don't burn out. Slow and steady is the entire point.
Is it safe?
Yes, when you follow basic practices that we'll walk you through:
- You never share your home address. All physical mail goes through a PO box, and electronic platforms keep your real contact info hidden.
- Every match is personally reviewed. Richard or Ibrahim looks at every match request before approving it. We're not an algorithm.
- You can end any correspondence at any time. One click in your dashboard. No reason required, no shame, no awkwardness — we handle telling the inmate respectfully.
- The platforms monitor messages. Securus, TextBehind, GettingOut, ConnectNetwork, and CORRLINKS all monitor messages for safety. There's a permanent record of everything you write and everything they write.
What you write about
Ordinary life. The most-asked-for thing in prison letters, by miles, is just normal. What you cooked for dinner. Your kids saying something funny. The weather. A book you're reading. A movie you saw. Your dog. Whether the tomatoes came in this year.
What to avoid:
- Pity. "I'm so sorry you're going through this" lands wrong. They know. They live it. Treat them like a normal friend, because they are one.
- Interrogating them about their case. If they want to talk about why they're in, they'll bring it up. Don't ask first.
- Trying to fix them. You're not a counselor. You're a friend.
- Promises you can't keep. Don't say "I'll write every week" if you can't actually do that. Be honest about your pace from the start.
What to do instead:
- Be specific. "We had spaghetti" is better than "I made dinner."
- Ask open questions about them — favorite music, what they're reading, what they miss, what they hope for.
- Share photos when allowed. A printed picture of your dog or your garden is a small treasure inside.
- Respond to what they wrote. If they mentioned their daughter, ask about her next time.
The faith dimension (and what if you're not religious)
Jeff's Second Family is a Christian ministry. Our director, Richard, was called to this work decades ago, and the verse on our footer — "I was in prison and you came to me" — is the heart of why we exist.
That said, our volunteers come from a range of backgrounds. We don't require volunteers to be Christian, and we don't ask volunteers to evangelize. What we do ask is that you align with the ministry's values: dignity, consistency, compassion, and respect.
Many of the people you'll be writing to have a faith of their own. Some don't. Some are wrestling with faith because of where they are. Take your cue from them. Don't push, don't preach. Just be present.
What to expect when you register
- Sign up at register.html with your name and email. Takes about 90 seconds.
- Verify your email. We send a confirmation link.
- Browse the inmates currently waiting for a pen pal. Each one has a brief introduction letter so you can choose someone whose situation resonates with you.
- Request a match. Click "Request to Write to This Person" on whoever you'd like to connect with.
- Wait for review. Richard or Ibrahim reviews every request personally. Usually within 48 hours, you'll get an email approving the match (or letting you know if there's an issue).
- Write your first letter. Your dashboard has step-by-step instructions for whichever platform applies. Mark the letter as sent when you've sent it.
- Keep going. Over time, build a friendship the same way you would with anyone else: one letter at a time, faithfully.
If you're still not sure
That's normal. This is a real commitment to a real person, and the worst thing would be to register on a whim and then go silent after one letter. If you're on the fence, here are the questions worth asking yourself:
- Can I commit to at least three letters over the next 90 days?
- Am I doing this because I want to help, or because I want to feel like I'm helping?
- Am I prepared to keep writing even if the replies are slow, brief, or hard to read?
- Can I be okay with not "fixing" anything?
If you answered yes to all four, you're ready. If you're not sure about any of them, sit with it. The inmates we serve will still be there next month, and we'd rather you start when you're ready than start and stop.